Very Clever Girl (Velociraptor GLOG class)

I got the urge at work the other day to put together a GLOG class, so here it is. Special thanks to Vayra at The Mad Queen's Court for coming up with the D rank ability! 

There's something undeniably sick about the Raptors from the original Jurassic Park movie. The way they skulk and stalk around, moving their little heads and clicking their talons on the ground as they hunted those children. When I was a kid watching that movie, they really felt like monsters.

So naturally, I wanna be one. 

What a handsome lad

GLOG class: Velociraptor

Starting Skill: 1. Tracking - 2. Disguise - 3. Lockpicking

Equipment: Retractable Talons

Boon: +1 to Stealth per 2 templates in this class

A: Velociraptor
B: Pounce, +1 Defense 
C: Do you think he saurus, Pack Mentality, +1 Defense
D: Hunting Call, +1 Defense 

Velociraptor
- You cannot hold weapons, ropes, or ladders, but can manipulate small objects like potion stoppers or door handles.
- Your movement rate is 1.5x that of a human
- Your talons or bite deal damage as a sword 
- Your scales provide you +2 defense
- Your coloration allows you to hide in natural environments with minimal cover, as an elf or halfling
- You understand common humanoid speech and may speak fluently with animals
- Your reptilian brain is still largely dominated by hunting instinct and base impulse, save against enchantment magic and mind-dominating effects at disadvantage

Pounce 
When you successfully charge an opponent you may choose to make an attack for each Velociraptor template you possess (Ex: 2 templates, 2 attacks

Do-you-think-he-saurus
You have learned how to semi-convincingly pass for human without making a disguise check. By wearing a cloak, wig, makeup, or other costume you may casually hide your dinosaur nature. Your disguise does not hold up to intense scrutiny from authority figures, but will fool average folk.

Pack Mentality
When you attack a target, the next attack made against that target by one of your allies gains a damage bonus equal to your HD. Only one attack may benefit from this ability per round. 

Hunting Call
- You can conjure a pack of ghostly-imaginary-pseudo-raptors from the not so distant past as an action.
- These raptors persist until you are slain, or you dismiss them 
- This a terrifying sight, and anything edible to a raptor must check morale. 
- Up to one of the phantoms can act upon the physical world at a time, with the same statistics as you but no equipment. 
- Each time you use this ability there is a X-in-6 chance of also conjuring an entirely real prehistoric beast such as a T-rex or Dire Sabre Tooth. This beast is hostile to everything in sight, and cannot be dismissed as the phantom raptors. X is equal to the number of times you have used this ability that day. 

Digital Dreamscape (Failed Careers WIP)

Electric Bastionland is extremely cool and fun, you should buy it. I did, and now I'm partially obsessed with the electrified super-dense cityscape it helps you imagine. One of the defining aspects of the game is the 100+ two page spreads stylishly depicting your character's potential failed career, and I think they're so cool. Lists are the best, I love em'. Things like Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay and Pokemon appeal to me strongly because of the sheer volume of interesting and aesthetic things on offer. 

I immediately needed to create my own list of failed careers for a Bastion-adjacent setting, for funsies. Here's 36 ideas. I'm kinda grappling with the idea of the failed career vs just, actually being the thing. 

Inspo/Vibes: The future that is Aku, Cursed Earth, Rifts, Memey, 5th element, Idiocracy

A potential party

Career - Quip/D6 Question Prompt 1/D6 Table Prompt 2

1. Public Transporter - You moved the people/what did you pilot?/How do you manage?

2. Modest Luxury Dealer - You sold cheap comforts that evidently no-one needed./what did you sell?/Hows business?

3. Motorbike Jouster - You used to have a motorbike, but now you rely on pedal power./What was your gang like?/what happened to your bike?

4. Armed Parcel Porter - 2 day guaranteed delivery requires a small army/best tip?/what was your last delivery?

5. Snake Gatherer - they brought in the snakes to get the rats, they brought you in to get the snakes/what's your method?/How do you unwind?

6. Stilt-bot Pilot - Your walker brought you closer to the sky, now you long to be high again/What do you use to chase the sky?/How did you lose your license?

7. Sword Fetishist - Collecting ornamental edged objects wasn't just a hobby, but an obsession/What did you keep?/Who bought your collection?

8. Ritual Sacrifice - You were groomed as an offering, unfortunately you're still with us./Who was your intended recipient?/Who backed out?

9. Curse Eater - Your only commodity was your willingness to take on the misfortune of others/With what were you compensated?/How does your curse manifest?

10. Animal Fist Initiate - You were accepted into an elite martial arts school, they want their secrets back./What school were you in?/How were you disgraced?

11. Man in Black - They were supposed to erase your memory, but pieces keep coming back./What do you remember?/What are your nightmares of?

12. Embarrassed Millionaire - You were once fabulously wealthy, you are grossly unfamiliar with any adversity/What token of wealth do you retain?/Where did the money go?

13. Sanctioned Drug Dealer - "Pharmacist? What's a pharmacist?"/What was in demand?/Who defended you in court?

14. Foolish Warrior - Wielding a magic sword, flung forward in time by a dark wizard./When are you from?/Your magic sword

15. Amateur Ninja - You learned ninjitsu from a VHS tape, they repo'd most of your gear./What do you still have?/Who is your ninja rival?

16. Two-Tone Army - Gigs don't pay the way they used to. You never got paid at all./How many of you are there?/What's the beat?

17. Arcane Mechanic - You dialed in crystal calibrators and checked powdered scorpion levels, not much stuck./What's your hobby?/What was the shop specialty?

18. Zodiac Knight - You dreamed of serving the house of astrologers, once./Which sign were you sworn to?/What does your family think?

19. Wastelander - The backwoods are unforgiving, you crawled to the city lights./How did the backwoods change you?/Who did you leave behind?

20. Professional Placeholder - Everything has a wait time, people paid you to hold their place in the queue./How patient are you?/What's that in your pocket?

21. Mimic Tamer - Mimics are lonely monsters that hide behind mundanity. You could relate./What was the act like?/

22. Toon - It's not your fault, you're just drawn that way./What's in your back pocket?/What is your aesthetic?

23. Witch Finder - "Witch search-and-rescue unit" isn't as snappy./What was your specialty?/Who couldn't you find?

24. Imaginary Friend - Born from a child's imagination, you have outlived your purpose

25. Bear & Bird - Not unlike a Moose & Squirrel/What tricks do you know?/Who's your nemesis?

26. Toad Sage - You failed to uphold your pact with the toad spirits, but you still have their email/Secret toad art?/Vice?

27. Queen of games - You possessed an artifact that housed an ancient spirit, it blessed you with incredible gaming ability/Who was this spirit/What's your game?

28. Champion Brick Thrower - You were good, but not the best

29. Service Android - You're wildly outdated. Android enthusiasts are surprised to see you functioning/Prime Directive?/Passion?

30. Pedestrian Hero - Your only power is your indomitable confidence/What's your signature move? How do you traverse the city?

31. Great Ape Cultist - Our ape overlords will come from beyond the stars and rule us as gods

32. Negative Vampire - Your body rejected the worst of the vampire curse, but you're still a carrier.

33. Bison Cleric - Strong and unyielding, bison worship is a common faith in the backwoods

34. Clone of Rick Astley - You hearts been aching but you're too shy to say it

35. Full Conversion Cyborg - You wouldn't or couldn't go through with the whole procedure, glitches are common

36. Arachnoid - A mild mannered spider, bitten by a radioactive man. You retain the worst traits of both man and arachnid.

It takes a village to raise an adventuring party

So what if you got really gamey with how businesses and establishments in towns work? A friend of mine told me he wants to do a sort of frontiersman campaign where the players establish a township and can invest their treasure from dungeoneering in different kinds of businesses and town things. I think that sounds like a lot of fun, and started wondering how I would do it. I immediately was inspired by Darkest Dungeon, and how you build up the hamlet over the course of dozens of dungeon crawls. 

So a core premise of the campaign would be that the village is a sort of shared character among all the players. Of course your individual characters are your own, but the village is a communal baby that ye all must feed with treasure until it is fat and handsome. All the mangy settlers that live there are their potential future dungeon runners, and they must love them. 

"Fan the flames, mould the metal; we are raising an army"

When the party returns to town, packs laden with loot, they spend their gold on character XP as they would carousing, but, with the added benefit of investing that gold in the town's establishments, eventually leveling up their capabilities as well. Each player may invest their establishment XP however they want, and it is up to the group to decide among themselves if they will pool their resources towards a common goal. It could also be fun for the DM to attach other goals to the leveling requirements for establishments, like acquiring a magic anvil for the blacksmith, or an eldritch tome for the wizard. 

It occurs to me that the town persisting in strength of utility regardless of character death is an interesting potential counterbalance to an XP penalty for said character death. It might shift some player investment from the individual characters and onto the town itself, because like, the town can't die. That is, until the denizens of the dungeons they've been delving gather an army and march on the village...

Anyway, I came up with a handful of establishments to get started with. For now they have 3 vaguely defined levels of investment, but I feel like some could warrant more, such as the Wizard's Tower and the Temple.

General Store 

• Lv 1 - Offers a really slim selection of basic stuff like, rope, backpacks, torches, etc.
• Lv 2 - Sells more advanced adventuring gear like lanterns, telescopes, and collapsible 10ft poles. 
• Lv 3 - Art, gems, and other non-coin treasure items are worth double character XP

Blacksmith

• Lv 1 - Can only repair weapons and armor, not make them. Can only craft tools. 
• Lv 2 - Sells weapons and armor, can temporarily enhance a weapon for 1 session? 
• Lv 3 - Attracts an occasional wandering arcane artisan, selling 1d3 random magic items.

Wizard's Tower: 

• Lv 1 - Can identify magic items. 
• Lv 2 - Apprentices available as hirelings. They can cast detect magic once per day and come with an area of expertise such as languages, monster lore, or alchemy. Also, random potions are available for sale. 
• Lv 3 - Offers permanent enchantments, such as flight, darkvision, remove the need to eat, skin as stone, detect a monster type, etc.

Temple

• Lv 1 - Sells holy water, Can cure poison and mundane disease 
• Lv 2 - Cures blindness/deafness and petrification, and cure magical disease
• Lv 3 - Can reincarnate/raise dead, Removes curses

Tavern (The idea is that vagrants and mercenaries pass through the township in greater numbers as it becomes more famous. Also I wrote the hirelings with Maze Rats + GLOG magic in mind)

• Lv 1 - 1d6 hirelings available from tier 1 per visit to town. Heal 1 hit point per day spent resting. 
• Lv 2 - 2d6 potential hirelings available from tiers 1 and 2, 3 points healed per day spent resting. 
• Lv 3 - 3d6 potential hirelings from any tier, 5 po ints healed per day spent resting

Tier 1 Hirelings

• Porter - Morale: Poor, Cost: 1 coin/day - Carries stuff for the party
• Torch Bearer - Morale: Poor, Cost: 1 coin/day - Holds a torch
• Ruffian - Morale: Poor, Cost: 2 coin/day - Wields a single handed weapon, does not own armor or a shield. 

Tier 2

• Marksman - Morale: Fair, Cost: 5 coin/day - Wields both a ranged and single hand weapon, owns no armor. 
• Man at arms - Morale: Fair, Cost: 5 coin/day - Wields a single hand weapon and shield, wears light armor
• Halberdier - Morale: Fair, Cost: 5 coin/day - Wields a two handed weapon, wears light armor

Tier 3 

• Dwarf - Morale: Fearless, Cost: 10 coin/day - Darkvision, wields two handed weapon, wears heavy armor, 1/2 damage from magic
• Elf - Morale: Fearless, Cost: 10 coin/day - Wields one handed weapon, wears light armor, knows 2 random spells, has 2 magic dice
• Cleric - Morale: Good, Cost: 10 coin/day - Wields one handed weapon and shield, light armor, can cast heal and turn the unholy, 3 magic dice 
• Wizard - Morale: Fair, Cost: 10 coin/day - Single hand weapon, no armor, can cast fireball and sleep, 4 magic dice
• Ranger - Morale: Good, Cost: 10 coin/day - Two single hand weapons, ranged weapon, light armor, can cast cure poison, 1 magic dice, passively detect magic beasts

16 cantrips for fun and profit

Some of these aren't really spells that you choose to cast, and are more like passive magical effects that might be useful. I came up with names for some, but not all. The naming got in the way of actually writing them down. 

1 - Ocular Phalange: An eyeball sprouts out of the tip of your finger

2 - Quaff of the Calf: You can derive an entire day's nourishment from a single child's portion of dairy. Milk, cheese, butter or yogurt. In addition, imbibing spoiled dairy does not cause you any ill effects. 

3 - Hammerhead: Your head turns into a huge carpenter's hammer. While maintaining this spell you may not speak, but can see and hear normally. You may attack with your head as a mace, and are considered proficient with these attacks. 

4 - Caustic Tears: Your tears are a potent acid. You may produce 1 vial of acid per day that you spend entirely coaxing yourself to cry. Your acid tears become inert and mundane 1 week after being shed. You are immune to your own tears. 

5 - Mirrormorph: As long as you maintain this spell, your flesh, hair, and worn belongings become perfectly polished mirror. 

6 - Echo: You may absorb 1 sound of a relatively short length, such as a tiger's roar, cannon fire, or a single sentence, and store it in your brain. You may then recreate this sound at it's original volume, expelling it from your mind in the process. You may overwrite an unused sound with a new one at will. 

7 - Kiss of Death: You may kiss a corpse (or skeleton) to learn how it died. You do not see the death nor learn the circumstances surrounding it, the manner of death simply springs into your mind, such as "Stabbed in the heart" or "Bit by poisonous creature"

8 - Self Petrify: You may turn your flesh into stone over the course of a minute. While you are petrified you are completely unaware of your surroundings. You may unpetrify yourself at will. 

9 - Out of sight: If you are not being directly observed by living eyes, you are invisible.

10 - Sympathetic Telepathy: Passively detect creatures within 30 yards that are experiencing similar emotions as you. If you are nervous, you detect other nervous creatures, etc.

11 - Blip: Teleport 1d10' through open air.

12 - Brain Static: You can read minds at will, but the thoughts are translated into a language you do not understand

13 - You can fly at a running pace for as long as you can hold your breath. You slightly puff up like a balloon 

14 - While under the effects of alcohol you enjoy a bonus to saving throws against poison 

15 - Spider's Sleeve: You may produce up to 50' of rope from your sleeve. If the rope is cut or snapped, take damage as though you were attacked with a sword.

16 - Reverse Lycanthrope: If you bite a mammal there is a 50% chance they will become wereman, and turn into whatever you are on the next full moon.

"You Sprout a Bouquet of Gun Wielding Arms" (Shiva of Guns GLOG Class)

Shiva of Guns

For each template of Shiva of Guns you have, guns you hold gain +1 ammo capacity

A: GD +1, Cantrips, Gun Power (Bullethell)

B: GD +1, Curve the Bullet, 2 Gun Powers

C: GD +1, Trigger Happy, 2 Gun Powers

D: GD +1, Fastest There Ever was, 2 Gun Powers

Starting Skill: 1. Gambler, 2. Gunsmith, 3. Law

Equipment: Hat, pistol, lantern

Cantrips

1. Transmutagun - turn any handful of material into a pistol with d6 shots. Materials like sand, mud, flesh or leaves may not be able to withstand firing as many shots as things like stone, metal, or wood, at the DM's discretion. 

2. Detect Guns - you are innately aware of the presence of guns at a radius of 10 yards x the number of Shiva of Guns templates you have. 

Gun Powers & Gun Dice (GD)

Gun Powers are abilities unique to the Shiva of Guns, they are activated and cast like spells, but are not spells. Gun Dice cannot be spent on Wizardly magic. 

To use a Gun Power select a number of Gun Dice (GD) you wish to invest, roll them, then add the numbers together if the power asks for a (Sum), (Dice) means the number of dice invested. Dice that roll 1-3 return to your die pool and can be used again, but dice that roll 4+ are removed from your die pool until High Noon, at which time you regain all expended dice. 

At template A you automatically gain the following power, Bullethell. At each subsequent template gain two more powers randomly. 

Bullethell: You sprout a bouquet of gun wielding arms and become a whirling fury of gunsmoke and hot lead. Deal (Sum) + (Dice) damage to all foes within a 20' radius 

D6 Gun Powers

1. Jammer - Use your magic to jam (Sum) guns you can see. It takes a number of rounds equal to your number of templates in this class to unjam a gun affected by this power. 

2. Back Breaking Dodge - When you take damage from a missile weapon you may use this power to reduce the damage by (Sum)

3. Teleportagun - You may teleport to a place you have shot before and can visualize clearly within a radius of (dice) miles. 

4. Gunslinger's Judgement - Make a regular gun attack. Reroll the attacks' damage (dice) times and keep the best result. 

5. Ethereal Sniper - Target takes (Sum) damage from an unseen sniper each time it attacks. This effect persists for (Dice) rounds. 

6. Speak With Guns - Lasts for (Sum) minutes 

Curve the Bullet: Your gun attacks ignore cover and do not require line of sight.

Trigger Happy: When you roll max damage on a gun attack, not a power, regain a GD. (This can be triggered by Gunslinger's Judgement)

Fastest There Ever Was: If you are wielding a gun you always have first place in the initiative ladder, even if the rest of your party lost initiative. You also always act in the surprise round. 

Buns in the oven, aka Games I want to run

I've got a couple ideas for future games I'd like to run. Most of them are still in the embryonic stage, consisting of an elevator pitch or less.

The continued adventures of Dog Blart

Set in the crowded streets of a Bastion-like super city choked with smog, grime, and sweat, an ever rotating troupe of unlikely treasure hunters seek fortune and freedom in the deepcountry tombs and back alleys. With a bludgeon in one hand and a tome of eldritch power in the other, steel yourself against the horrors that lurk where the light of the streetlamps dares not reach. 

Player Directives

• Pay off your hideously gigantic debt to Don Fabliousa
• Seek out magical artifacts to give yourself an advantage
• Develop a network of contacts to find jobs, potential scores, and cheap goods
• Engage in your vices to cope with the stress of adventuring
• Trust no-one

Mausritter, the 3 kingdoms

Beneath our feet, out of sight and mind of most people, is a tiny, sprawling world of adventure. The folk of the numerous Beast, Bug and Fairy kingdoms live in hiding from the wider world of massive giants, fire-breathing cats, soulless unfeeling birds, and other aberrations. If one hopes to defy these dangers and return home with plunder, they should seek the safety of numbers, the strength of a warband.

Player Directives

• Always be on the hunt for plunder. The human city is endless and fat with treasure, but extremely dangerous
• Use your wealth to recruit cronies and put together a warband. Numbers are your greatest asset
• Retire as a fat noble

Something Witchy

You've seen some shit. And I don't mean you've had one or two troubling encounters, I mean the entire world has gone down the shitter and you see something horrible almost every day. It's the modern day, or somewhere close to it, there's no way to be sure. Society is in the death throes of what we understand it to be, and the supernatural underworld that has always been there is eagerly bubbling to the surface. The bureau of paranormal research and defense was exposed to the public and shattered into secretive warring sects, fighting with one another as often as they fight against the encroaching darkness. If you want to stay alive in this hellscape of eternal-night and hyperviolence, you've gotta be the scariest thing out there.

Player Directives

• Make that money any way you can. Hijack shipments of donated blood and sell it to vampires. Clear quarantined neighborhoods of zombies on behalf of the CDC. Rob wizards and sell their grimoires to demons, or vice versa.
• Rub elbows with cults, government agencies, covens, mafias, hunters, gangs, and outright freaks. Just remember that you can't make a friend without making an enemy.

Automatic Weapons & the shooting of them

Someone on discord the other night suggested a really cool premise for an Esoteric Enterprises game. The MIB or BPRD or whoever your paranormal hunting government agency might be has splintered off into warring cells named after the major tarot. The Tower are a group of agents who found their way into the underworld and never really came back out, The Chariot are a hyper-religious, hyper-conservative sect with itchy trigger fingers. You can see how this is some cool shit. 

So now my brain has been abuzz with how to hack some modern Esoteric Enterprises type elements onto my Into the Odd/GLOG hack. It's been slow going so far, but I think I've landed on a rule for automatic weapon fire that really shines. 

"Firing an Electrical Gatling" The telegraphic journal and electrical review, November 28, 1890

Firing an Automatic Weapon (Or, the ol' Spray n' Pray)

Roll up to 3 damage dice and keep the best result, then roll your ammo usage die once for each damage die you rolled, one die step at a time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that I'm writing this out, maybe this should just be the core rule for shooting a gun. Like, you don't take a special action to do this with certain kinds of guns, this is just how shooting guns functions, and maybe special guns deviate from this. 

I'm not sure how I would want to handle the ammo die. In the black hack your ammo would be represented wholesale by the usage die, and you would roll it at the end of a gunfight. That's a solid rule, and it would function fine on it's own. But I feel like the rule I wrote implies that you roll the ammo die every time you attack, so if the usage die represented all of your ammo you'd be running out pretty quick. I think I would rather it represent the ammo left in the gun. 

I use item slots, but I'm unsure what an item slot's worth of ammo should be. Should it fill your gun entirely? That's what I'm leaning towards. 

I break weapons down into 3 categories, Light-Medium-Heavy. This determines their damage die, the number of item slots they take up, so why not their maximum ammo usage die size? Maybe it could just be equal to the size of the weapon's damage die. I keep thinking to myself "but then shotguns will have a weirdly high amount of ammo" and the cognitive dissonance prevents me from making any headway on the idea. 

But, now that I'm looking more at this black hack blogpost about guns and ammo, I think defining the kind of gun you're using by slapping a special tag onto the standard light-medium-heavy weapon statblock would be a cool way to handle it. 

So you would take one of these tags (These are just a few examples)

Shotgun: Increase weapon's damage by one step, decrease max ammo usage die by one step. 

Sniper/Scoped: If you do not move this round, increase weapon damage one step

Arrow: Max ammo usage die is d12, but you cannot use the Spray n' Pray maneuver 

And apply it to one of these 

Weapon Type	Damage/Max Ammo Usage Die	Encumbrance Slots
Heavy (2 hands)	D10	3
Medium	D8	2
Light	D6	1

GLOG class: Mimic Tamer

So this is the product of a one-off joke at last week's game, I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. 

You are a Mimic Tamer! Handler of the strange and aberrant, friend of the shapechangers and dopplegangers. You spend a large portion of your professional time spelunking through crypts and caverns in search of that famous ambush predator, the Mimic. While most folks revile such predatory and alien creatures, you know that they are more intelligent than they get credit for, and are even kinda cute. 

Mimic Tamer

The tamer and mimic act as one character, and share an HP pool. 

For every template of Mimic Tamer you possess, gain a +1 on reaction rolls versus mutants, horrors, and aberrations. Also, +1 to notice disguised mimics and other shapeshifters. 

Starting skill: 1. Game trapper 2. Impressionist 3. Whisperer

Equipment: Bludgeon, Leash, Whistle, Treats

A 

Small & Obedient Mimic - through careful and patient training you have tamed a mimic the size of a small dog. It can shapechange into any mundane object that could fit in a backpack, but retains the density of flesh. It can also perform single word tasks such as "fetch, stay, sick'em, protecc". It is cowardly unless the tamer is within eyesight, and cannot make attacks on its own, only in tandem with the tamer or an ally (see "ankle biter") 

Ankle Biter - When you or an ally make a melee attack while adjacent to the Mimic, roll an additional d4 along with your damage dice. If the result on this die is greater than your own damage result, use it instead. The mimic can only provide this bonus once per turn. 

B

"Hold this for me" - Your mimic is now the size of a large dog, and has mastered turning into a chest, it now has 6 item slots! It stores things in it's belly, any retrieved item is covered in a thin mucus. 

Ankle Biter - Increase the die to a d6. 

C

"Ride like the wind!" - Your mimic is now the size of a couch, and can be ridden by one adult, or two children. 

Ankle Biter - Increase the die to a d8 

D

"They grow up so fast" - Your mimic is now fully grown! It gains an additional 4 item slots and is intelligent enough to understand full sentences and follow instructions that a 10 year old could follow. 

Ankle Biter - Increase the die to a d10

GLOG class: Toon

So for a little while I've been thinking about introducing cartoons as a character type into my games. A character that permits, even demands the player to be goofy is exactly what some folks are looking for. This class is a first draft and draws from some standard cartoon tropes.

Toon

For every Toon template you possess, gain a +1 on reaction rolls 

Starting Equipment: Bludgeon, Acme Catalog

Starting Skill: 1. Song & Dance Man - 2. Silent Actor - 3. Animal 

A: Episodic Existence
B: Two Toon Traits
C: Two Toon Traits
D: Remaining Toon Trait

Episodic Existence - You cannot be killed by conventional means. If you are murdered by any kind of damage other than acid you begin the following session right as rain, ready for action. You either have no recollection of your previous demise, or write it off as a gag. You always casually forget the details of your previous exploits and adventures as though they never occurred. Only major events, like the death of a party member, make a dent in your continuity warping existence.

Toon Traits

Stretch & Squish - While unarmored, you enjoy a +2 to max HP per Toon template

Back Pocket - You have no need for backpacks and burlap sacks, everything you need seems to fit into your back pocket. Additionally, a number of times per session equal

to your total toon templates you may produce a random item from the following table: 

1) A pie     

2) A mallet 

3) An anvil 

4) A salmon 

5) A bomb (Like a big black iron ball with a fuse sticking out) 

6) A double barrel shotgun

Blast Proof - On a successful save explosives cause you no HP damage, instead you are temporarily burnt to a crisp, your headwear smoldering and your facial 

features rearranged.

2 Dimensional - You can hide behind objects that would not be otherwise broad enough to hide behind, such as lampposts, trees, fence posts, flagpoles, etc. 

Exit stage right - Once per session you may declare yourself to be walking off screen. At any point thereafter you may re-enter the scene and reveal yourself from the 

background of the scene, ideally from somewhere implausible.